As some of you may already know, I have recently gotten the results of a MRI/CAT scan sometime last week. The scans show that I have something growing in the center of my brain with fluid.. I will be getting more tests done, and I will try to keep everyone updated. Id like to take this chance to talk about myself. If not interested, I just want to let you all know that I appreciate the support you've given me through out the years of being on Deviantart. I feel like my life is going to a end soon, I'm anxious, and desperate for help.
I've suffered from depression for many years now, along with a eating disorder called anorexia. My health has always been terrible over the past 6 years.. I almost never leave the house, socialize, eat healthy, or exercise. I get stressed over small stuff, and I'm horrible with taking jokes, having fun, and making friends. For the past years my health has just been getting worse and worse.. I'm going bald in the front of my head, my skin is dry, my scalp is fully covered in dandruff, my knees cramp, my eyes are straining and showing weird black waves, my ears pop, ring and itch as well. I'm always so cold due to low blood iron, and my chest almost always feels tight. Im so out of breath, I can barley sing a song anymore. I rarely drink water so I'm almost always dehydrated, next to starving for food sense I barley eat. (I'm just to depressed, I never feel hungry or thrusty.) I suffer from bad anxiety, and I have a lot of unexplained problems. Every time I wake up, I feel dizzy and horrible.. I feel like I'm dying. I can hardly get out of bed, or walk down the stairs sometimes. My heart goes crazy, and I feel like its going to explode when I do a simple task like standing up or walking up the stairs. I'm tired of feeling this way, I'm tired of waking up and having to deal with all these problems, and mental issues. I know I am probably just a spoiled brat who is just ranting about their life problems.. I understand everyone has their own problems and I have no right to push mine onto other people. I'm most likely just over reacting due to all of this stress. This scared feeling I have of dying has just been terrifying and beyond over-whelming.
Getting to the point here, I feel like I'm going to be dead soon. This is very hard for me to type out.. I just wanted to thank everyone whos supported me over the years of me trying to become something I couldn't. Life was never easy for me, I don't know if Ill make it through this, I think I've reached my limit. I've worked SO hard to get to where I am.. I cried, and sweated over my artwork so hard for so long. For those of you who have a dream, follow it. Don't let it die, but also don't let yourself die in the process.. You can make it if you work hard, but also care and stay healthy for your own good. I know I'm not good with wording things or making inspirational speeches, I usually have my best friend edit these paragraphs I type before I submit them, so I'm sorry that my wording is strange or subjects seem to skip out of place.
Thank you all so much for the support. If Im still here, I'll eventually give an update.. but for now this is goodbye. I wont be leaving for good, I just need time to recover. I'll be back. I will leave my artwork up sense this is not a issue regarding art thief. Art, games and the internet has always came first before my health.. now its time I drop these things and only focus on my health. Thank you all for understanding.